Apr. 16th, 2013

chthonya: Eagle owl eye icon (owleye)
So, a month ago I said I wasn't going to Misti-Con. And spent the next few weeks feeling awful. Coming off antidepressants at the time the weather was supposed to improve but stubbornly refused to do so didn't help, but the future looked awfully devoid of joy. I thought of other trips I could plan, but the more I looked, the more I realised that going somewhere in Europe for a week and paying for accommodation wasn't going to be much less than that transatlantic airfare. I remembered that, pre-drug, I used to love travelling across the country unannounced to surprise friends at parties. And I realised how gut-wrenchingly it would hurt not to be in Laconia next month.

So I'm going. If wanting to go in the first place was crazy, then the craziness is still with me. And if that's something I should be wary of, I reckon following through with awareness is better than repression.


Flight? Check.
(After flying a UK airline to Florida last year, I'm looking forward to trying a US airline for the first time since Pan Am in '84)

Travel to the con? Check.
(With huge thanks to the wonderful woman who got me into this intercontinental congoing game in the first place. :)

Roommates? Check.
(A little nervous about sharing with 3 strangers, but we're all in the same boat. And bed.)

Travel insurance? Hmmm, runs out this month. Need to sort.

Glass? Sadly not.
(I missed the January craft faire deadline - thought about it at the time but I was already feeling fatalistic by then. And even if there were no deadline, I wouldn't have time to do much now, though I would have loved to be able to bring that part of my creative self along.)

Costume? Oh ****, I fly in 21 days!



Lesson for myself here is to know I don't make fun decisions in the winter months; seems I need to hibernate mentally if not physically. It feels a bit odd going all that way and not contributing - but then I felt my contributions, such as they were, to Ascendio fell a bit flat. So perhaps it's better to go and just be rather than feeling I have to justify my presence by doing.

I'm determined to have a costume this time, though.

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