![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
My CD player is misbehaving, so I'm enjoying revisiting the music I bought on tape 7+ years ago. This album seems to have a lot of songs featuring sleep - a timely reminder to go to bed! But first:
Since I started indexing my drabbles in my memories a few weeks ago, I've been meaning to post the two I wrote before getting LJ. And![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fourth_rose has finally given me the impetus to do so. If you haven't yet read her Ferrets Forever!, go do so - it's a very funny take on Sirius and Draco beyond the veil.
I, too, wrote my entry in FAP's movie!PoA challenge with my tongue firmly in my cheek, though judging by some of the feedback I got the sense of humour was a bit oblique for half the people who responded. Anyhow, without further ado, I give you:
Buckbeak’s Last Supper
“Settle yersel’ down, Beaky.
No! Not on me prize-
Oh, never mind, I’d rather lose a pumpkin than... than...
Now, don’ yeh look at me like that. I did try an’ tell ’em... What yeh did were jus’ yer nature. If ol’ Lucius’d taught his son some manners...
Right. What’ll yeh eat? Got a couple o’ grouse from... well, never mind. How ’bout some pedigree cockroaches? No?
I know what yer after - always the same. Yer s’posed ter have a balanced diet, yer know.
Now, though...
Here yeh go, then. Where’d yeh get such a taste fer ferrets, anyhow?”
This next one was inspired bykennahijja's author's note to her awesome Burdens, though it was really Hijja herself who invented 'Voldemort, the Bathroom Designer' - I merely pointed him out. Sharp-eyed readers of Burdens might see which corner he was lurking in.
Voldemort, the Bathroom Designer (TM)
Voldemort played with the idea of a tap for several nights.
It was to be a lordly tap, a mighty fountainhead, fit to gush forth his legacy. A glittering silver-wrought serpent-
No. Perhaps that might be a trifle… obvious. It needed to slide under the gaze of unworthy seekers, after all.
He scoured the Watery Wizard catalogue: mixer taps, pairs, cross-tops, levers, taps of gold, ceramic, stainless steel – Salazar’s ghost had set an impossible task! This was even worse than hatching the replacement Basilisk!
But one thing he did know.
This time the tap would be in the boys bathroom.
Finally... well.
I had really mixed feelings writing this one: I almost decided to bury the plot bunny in its burrow, but as ever my wish to try writing it won out. I'm not sure if I'm glad about that or not - it's always satisfying to get to 100 words, but I still feel... sullied: partly because the serious aspect makes the OoC-ness feel insulting to the characters in question, and partly because... well.
Written for last weeks' 'Unconventional Pairings' challenge on![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
malfoy100, this is the nearest I've come to squicking myself.
If you go down to the woods today…
Inhuman screeching echoed deep in the forest.
“Is this really necessary?” Lucius grumbled.
“It is - unless you wish to abandon your objective?”
Lucius followed the older wizard in silence.
When they stopped, Lucius stared in horror.
“Isn’t this what you came for?” Albus asked softly.
“No! I-”
Approaching hoof-beats struck him dumb.
“Saturn is fading,” the centaur intoned. “Your attempt will fail. Your thirst for death leads only to rebirth.”
Lucius turned away. That creature had proved itself a beast. And had provided his evidence: the Hippogriff clearly had no control.
Afterwards, Narcissa always wondered why Lucius avoided horses.
Since I started indexing my drabbles in my memories a few weeks ago, I've been meaning to post the two I wrote before getting LJ. And
fourth_rose has finally given me the impetus to do so. If you haven't yet read her Ferrets Forever!, go do so - it's a very funny take on Sirius and Draco beyond the veil.I, too, wrote my entry in FAP's movie!PoA challenge with my tongue firmly in my cheek, though judging by some of the feedback I got the sense of humour was a bit oblique for half the people who responded. Anyhow, without further ado, I give you:
“Settle yersel’ down, Beaky.
No! Not on me prize-
Oh, never mind, I’d rather lose a pumpkin than... than...
Now, don’ yeh look at me like that. I did try an’ tell ’em... What yeh did were jus’ yer nature. If ol’ Lucius’d taught his son some manners...
Right. What’ll yeh eat? Got a couple o’ grouse from... well, never mind. How ’bout some pedigree cockroaches? No?
I know what yer after - always the same. Yer s’posed ter have a balanced diet, yer know.
Now, though...
Here yeh go, then. Where’d yeh get such a taste fer ferrets, anyhow?”
This next one was inspired by
kennahijja's author's note to her awesome Burdens, though it was really Hijja herself who invented 'Voldemort, the Bathroom Designer' - I merely pointed him out. Sharp-eyed readers of Burdens might see which corner he was lurking in.Voldemort played with the idea of a tap for several nights.
It was to be a lordly tap, a mighty fountainhead, fit to gush forth his legacy. A glittering silver-wrought serpent-
No. Perhaps that might be a trifle… obvious. It needed to slide under the gaze of unworthy seekers, after all.
He scoured the Watery Wizard catalogue: mixer taps, pairs, cross-tops, levers, taps of gold, ceramic, stainless steel – Salazar’s ghost had set an impossible task! This was even worse than hatching the replacement Basilisk!
But one thing he did know.
This time the tap would be in the boys bathroom.
Finally... well.
I had really mixed feelings writing this one: I almost decided to bury the plot bunny in its burrow, but as ever my wish to try writing it won out. I'm not sure if I'm glad about that or not - it's always satisfying to get to 100 words, but I still feel... sullied: partly because the serious aspect makes the OoC-ness feel insulting to the characters in question, and partly because... well.
Written for last weeks' 'Unconventional Pairings' challenge on
malfoy100, this is the nearest I've come to squicking myself.Inhuman screeching echoed deep in the forest.
“Is this really necessary?” Lucius grumbled.
“It is - unless you wish to abandon your objective?”
Lucius followed the older wizard in silence.
When they stopped, Lucius stared in horror.
“Isn’t this what you came for?” Albus asked softly.
“No! I-”
Approaching hoof-beats struck him dumb.
“Saturn is fading,” the centaur intoned. “Your attempt will fail. Your thirst for death leads only to rebirth.”
Lucius turned away. That creature had proved itself a beast. And had provided his evidence: the Hippogriff clearly had no control.
Afterwards, Narcissa always wondered why Lucius avoided horses.
