chthonya: Eagle owl eye icon (Default)
I saw this on [livejournal.com profile] a_belladonna’s LJ and it was too much fun to resist.

The Rules
First, write down the names of 12 characters. Then read and answer the questions.
You can't look at the questions (or click on the cut) until you write down the 12 characters you're going to use.

My characters:

1 Lucius Malfoy (who else?)
2 Cornelius Fudge
3 Minerva McGonagall
4 Hermione Granger
5 Narcissa Malfoy
6 Augustus Rookwood
7 Bellatrix Lestrange
8 Arthur Weasley
9 Harry Potter
10 Arabella Figg
11 Viktor Krum
12 Severus Snape

There’s a little task for [livejournal.com profile] fyrie at the end ;)



Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?
I can safely say that I’ve never even heard of an Augustus/Viktor fic.
I’m more interested in Rookwood as a Ministry traitor than an Azkaban-ravaged toady, but I’d definitely read Rookwood/Viktor if it were character-based and not too porn-saturated. There’s far too little written about either of these two.


Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Hermione? Only on a very sunny day in the library.


What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
Snape and Arthur?! I would boggle. And quickly look away.
Hmmm. Why would Snape do such a thing? On Voldemort’s orders perhaps, or as some peculiar proof of his loyalty to the Order? Maybe he’d feed Arthur a potion and trick him into thinking MPREG was some new Muggle technique. The child would manage to make combine dark hair and freckles into a cuteness masking a malevolent sense of humour, and Ron and his brothers would find his parentage a confusing test of their family loyalty. Meanwhile Arthur and Molly would be left bickering about childrearing techniques and competing for the overbearing mother award.


Can you rec any fic(s) about Nine?
I recommend those written by one JK Rowling.
Seriously, I don’t tend to read Harry-centered fanfic. I’m sure there are some amazing fics out there, but the first one to spring to mind is the recced-to-death
[livejournal.com profile] copperbadge’s Stealing Harry.
For a shorter and funnier read, check out [livejournal.com profile] kennahijja’s Cat!Harry.

Recs for serious in-Harry’s-head, genish one-shots would be very much appreciated.


Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Fudge/Rookwood – Now that’s one I’d like to see – the growing but hidden affection amid the filing cabinets, Rookwood’s betrayal, the moment when they come face to face again after Rookwood’s years in Azkaban…
Must remember this for the next time I enter a challenge fest!


Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?
That’s a choice between Narcissa/Harry and Narcissa/Arabella. And I’d have to go with Narcissa/Harry – there’s far more between them. I could see Narcissa doing a Mrs Robinson on Harry to lure him to her revenge.

And sex or romance aren’t the first things to come to mind when thinking of Arabella. Though perhaps something could be made of a childhood friendship before Arabella’s squibness was confirmed. I’ve never read anything that goes into Arabella’s character in depth, so that could be interesting if done well.


What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Severus had expected his work as a spy to be difficult, but he had never expected it to be quite this unpleasant. Severus Snape was no stranger to unpleasantness, of course, but this…

He winced as the Minister shifted his angle of attack and resumed his insistent thrusting.

Not... Long... Now...

And then the pillow-talk would begin, when Severus would fish through the detritus of Cornelius’ ego for some fragment of useful information.

But just as the older man screamed out in climax, the office door slammed against the wall.

It was Bellatrix Lestrange, looking even more appalled even than the day she’d overheard Narcissa telling Andromeda that she had a crush on Gilderoy Lockhart.

“What… who… What the devil are you doing?” spluttered Fudge, pushing himself off Severus and vainly trying to cover himself with a long grey underrobe.

Bellatrix grinned. “Are we disturbing something? It sounded as if there was someone in pain.”

Too right there was, Severus thought grimly, as he muttered, “Since when has that bothered you?”

“I demand that you leave immediately!” Cornelius huffed.

She tossed her head. “Don’t worry, Minister, I have no desire to view the business of the Ministry at quite that level of… intimacy.”

There was a high-pitched giggle from the corridor. Severus glared. He wasn’t overly endowed with animal magnetism at the best of times, and the deep blush he could feel mottling his sallow greasy skin did not help matters. Nor did the fact that he was sprawled naked beneath the sweaty bulk of the Minister for Magic. This was not going to do his reputation any good at all.

Unless…

Severus narrowed his eyes. “Do give my regards to your companion, Bella.”

She stepped back and closed the door – but not before Severus had caught a glimpse of pink.

Not so bad, then. Now they could blackmail Fudge if he ever stopped being amenable to Lucius’ gold, and if Bella was ever tempted to recount this scene to their fellow Death Eaters, he only needed to threaten to reveal that her assignment had been Delores Umbridge...



Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.
Ooh, fantastic! There’s far too much scope here. Two suggestions:

As young girls, their shared love of cats drew them together. But when one received a letter from Hogwarts while the other’s squibhood condemned her to the margins of wizarding society, it seemed that Minerva and Arabella’s friendship was doomed. And then Minerva became an Animagus…

Dumbledore sends Professor McGonagall to check on Harry during one of his visits to Mrs Figg’s house. But Harry mistakes her for one of Arabella’s cats, and Minerva has to play along.

Please, somebody, write this pairing!


Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?
Lucius/Arthur? Erm… No.
In fact there’s far too little written about Lucius and Arthur, fluffy or not.
*cough*[livejournal.com profile] kennahijja*cough*Rodents*cough*


Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.
To Bottle Death
Hurt seems to come more naturally than comfort to both Bellatrix and Severus, but I can see this working if it were dark enough.


What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four to deflower One?
Hermione deflowers Lucius?! Overjoyed as I am with being presented with my favourite pairing, I have to confess that I’m boggling at this manifestation of it. Given the age difference, there would have to be a Time Turner involved… but I can’t see her as the deflowering type, nor Lucius the type to be deflowered.
The other way round, however. ;)
No, that’s cheating. So:

Sixth-year Hermione twiddles back in time to buy a book that is now out-of-print and meets fifth-year Lucius in the corner of Flourish and Blotts’s rare book section. He’s looking for the same book but she gets to the only copy first. He’s curious about what she wants with it – during the ensuing conversation she pretends she’s from a foreign wizarding school, and challenges some of his prejudices. He makes some rude comments about Mudbloods and she decides to seduce him to prove a point (to him and also to Ron when she gets back), using the book as a lure and later wowing him with her three-hours-of-grooming-spells transformation into a Yule Ball-esque beauty.

Must remember this for the next FQF. ;)


Does anyone on your friends list read Seven slash?
Bellatrix femmeslash is thin on the ground but I’ve no doubt that several of my flist are only too happy to read any they come across.


Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?
Apart from Tom/Minerva (and my own Lucius/Minerva) I’m not sure I’ve seen any. But I know that several flist folk would flock to Minerva gen.


Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
[livejournal.com profile] fyrie has written Viktor, but I don’t know anyone who writes or draws him as a matter of course.


Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?
Not unless it was a response to a challenge, I would think.
Cornelius/Hermione/Narcissa… this meme is giving me some bad mental images.


What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?
“Yes! There! Oh, Mr Paws!”


If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, which song would you choose?
The Womble Song – Arthur having a particular affinity for the ‘things that the everyday Muggles leave behind’.


If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warnings be?
Lucius/Rookwood/Snape – Hey, I could actually see that one working! Any of you slashers out there care to try it?
Warnings: slash, non-con, darkfic, excessive use of sarcasm


What might be a good pick-up line for Two to use on Ten?
“So, my dear,” said Cornelius, gently patting Mrs Figg’s hand. “Tell me all about your pussy.”
sorry


When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
I’ve been reading quite a lot of Narcissa fic recently, so probably the last time I read any fic longer than 100 words, which was about a fortnight ago. The most memorable one is Ice by sionnain - the best Lucius/Narcissa story I've read.


What is Six's super-sekrit kink?
Augustus Rookwood… Hmmm… Gay sex in a place where they’re at risk of discovery. Perhaps he was discovered by one of the Death Eaters and they used blackmail to reel him in.


Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober?
Viktor and Harry – never in canon, but if someone hasn’t written this as a slash pairing I’ll be surprised. And I’d say sober – drunk doesn’t strike me as the style of either of them. Unless it’s at a friendly Durmstrang/Hogwarts Quidditch match and someone puts vodka in the pumpkin juice.


If Three and Seven get together, who tops?
Minerva and Bellatrix – now there’s a potentially explosive pairing. I can’t see Minerva being into D/S and I can’t see Bellatrix wanting to bottom. There would be a struggle for supremacy but Minerva wouldn’t stand for any nonsense and discipline would certainly end up being her prerogative.


"One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.

Lucius and Harry are in a happy relationship until Harry suddenly runs off with Hermione. Lucius, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Viktor Krum and a brief unhappy affair with Severus Snape, then follows his wife’s wise advice and finds true love with Minerva McGonagall.

Lucius? Broken hearted? Naah – he’s on the rebound, looking to prove a point. Viktor is a good Harry substitute, and an equally prestigious lay - or maybe Lucius needs a Quidditch player for some nefarious purpose. Snape takes advantage of Lucius in a moment of hurt/comfort but it all ends in tears. Narcissa, who is aware of what’s going on but tactfully not drawing attention to her knowledge, tries to reawaken Lucius to his het side but he misinterprets her oblique comments and ends up with Minerva McGonagall after turning on the charm to influence her reign as Headmistress.

Title: Balls in the Air
(Yes, I’m in a very silly mood at the moment. Going through these questions will do that to a brain.)

There’s enough slash here to entertain the less heterophobic end of slasherdom: Lucius/Harry, Lucius/Viktor, Lucius/Severus. With all the Lucius fans on my flist, I’m sure several would want to read it. Specifically I’m guessing it would tempt [livejournal.com profile] kennahijja and [livejournal.com profile] annephoenix (especially if the ‘happy’ Lucius/Harry relationship included a healthy dose of BDSM). And perhaps [livejournal.com profile] underlucius for the Lucius/Severus element.

I could see [livejournal.com profile] fyrie writing it – she’s about the only person whom I’ve seen write Lucius/Harry and Harry/Hermione (well, almost), so I reckon she’d do both the het and and slash ships in this proud. Especially as it’s Lucius-centric. But most importantly I can really see her style working here – she writes with the tongue-in-cheek and occasionally wacky sense of humour essential to pull something like this off.


How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?
Canonical Bellatrix/Arthur would leave me completely gobsmacked and grinning like a loon.
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